Try This

I am going to try something new.  That’s all I know to do.  I’m reading a lot and other things.  But I’m really counting on this something new because if it doesn’t work, I don’t have any more ideas.

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Premonition

Last night at work I had a premonition. It felt like I’d felt it before, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t. It was like a realization. It makes such sense I can’t believe I didn’t think it before. Anyway, it’s there now, like a bad sting. But this may be it: the trick I need [...]

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It’s coming

I saw a bunny at work this morning in the parking lot. I think it was a sign that all is right and where it should be. These things keep happening. I feel like very soon something big and pivotal will happen.

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R a b b i t s

Usually when my life is a mess I dream about rabbits. Having to chase them and try to put them in a cage. It is very chaotic. The other night, though, I dreamed I had four rabbits that followed me around and let me pet them and went right in their cages when I told [...]

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Kiss Up

So the other day my mom mentioned the mailman’s name and I was like “Who?” and then “Oh.”  Can you believe that?  This is what happens when you disappear out of my life.  I forget your name.
Which is fine.  Because things are so much better.
I guess I shouldn’t do this but I’m comparing now.  Comparing [...]

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Oh Holy Hell!

Oh what the hell do I do now? Have I tried everything? Probably not. I have a lot of good distractions I’m loving: a new project, time for projects, really good books, time for movies again, a really good blog I’m reading. But how long do these things last? An hour, two hours. And then [...]

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See it

Just read the part of Rilke’s Seventh Elegy I posted. It seems I unwittingly planted a time capsuled message to myself. I don’t think there will be an outcome. I think there will just be constant movement.

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Checking In

I hope I remember everything. And I hope I remember everything correctly and in order. Sometimes I can’t get my chronology right. And I wonder if I remember things wrong and out of order and did they really happen? I hope I don’t just imagine things. Maybe I am a little like Henry in this [...]

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I Need a Seventh Elegy

From The Seventh Elegy by Rainer Maria Rilke:
No more wooing! Voice, you’ve outgrown wooing; it won’t/ be/
the reason for your cry anymore, even if you cried clear as
a bird when the soaring season lifts him, almost forgetting
he’s an anxious creature, and not just a single heart
she’s tossing toward brightness, into the intimate blue.
Just like him, [...]

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Re:Search

I had an interesting moment at work today. I was in a good mood and suddenly I was in a terrible mood. But I knew at that moment what was going on. That it was just the soup of my brain reconfiguring itself. My days are a little off thanks to the science experiment which [...]

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